Have you ever been around a person who annoys you or upsets you in some way? Have you ever been around someone you care deeply about, but feel like they don’t care as much about you? Well, we know as humans that it is kind of impossible to like everyone that we meet. We also know that not everyone will always like us. This is perfectly normal, and human nature.
Ask yourself this: do you really know why you dislike someone, why they dislike you, or why you think a loved one doesn’t match you in the caring department?
Judgement & Projection
When we judge others, we are actually judging ourselves. Remember that annoying person who is always bugging you? Well, their role in your life is to bug you. Could they purposely be trying to bug you, or are they bugging you without realizing they are? That I can’t answer. But I can tell you that the reason they bug you, is because they have a lesson to teach you.
We could have many reasons why this person bugs us. We can spend time thinking about the things they said or did, and explain to ourselves and our friends or family why they bug us. When we do this, we are completely bypassing the message that is there for us. Everyone who comes into our lives is a teacher, as we are teachers for the people we meet.
When someone gets on our nerves, it is important for us to accept that they do, and it is important to think about why they annoy us, too. But the most important thing to do here, is to look within. Why does this person really annoy us? Is there some trait they hold, that we wish we had? Or is there a trait we subconsciously dislike about ourselves that comes through them when they speak to us?
This is where projection mixes with judgment. When we project, we are putting beliefs that we hold onto other people. This is not a bad thing, because we need to know these messages so that we may continue to grow and develop. However, it can be detrimental to our relationships if we are projecting so much, that we are no longer seeing the truth in others.
Projecting onto loved ones.
So let’s look at more personal relationships, now. How many times have you thought about a potential romantic partner, or friend, and felt like they didn’t care about you as much as you care about them?
Sometimes when we feel someone doesn’t have the same feelings for us, it is because we lack self-love, and we are projecting our negative thoughts about ourselves, onto them. Have you ever gotten into an argument with a romantic partner or family member, where you said something like, “It seems like you don’t care.” And they get enraged, and respond with, “I can’t believe you would say that, I spend so much time taking care of you!”
Been there before? Well, that is you projecting your beliefs about yourself onto another person. It’s not your fault that this happens, in fact it happens to all of us. And there are many, many, different examples of how this can go. How about this thought: I am falling in love with him, but he would never fall in love with me. Even when he comes around and tries to be friends with you, and get close to you, you still think he isn’t interested in a serious relationship. And then you never deeply connect. Or if you do get together, you still don’t trust that he wants to be with you.
That is all projection. Do you see how it can harm relationships?
Let’s examine the other person’s projections. When you are trying to enter a new relationship with someone, either romantically or platonic, and you are trying very hard to connect with this person, but they won’t open up to you, or show that same interest, this stems from them, not you. This other person, is projecting their lack of self-love onto you. They may be thinking, “I am not good enough for this person,” and so they ignore you.
All of life is based on judgments and projections. Look back to the first few paragraphs of this post. If someone makes it clear they want nothing to do with you, it is because of things they are dealing with, and not because of who you are. And yes, sometimes people infuriate us so much, that it is hard to believe they are projecting us back to us. But they are. With each person, and each obstacle that we deal with, there is a lesson to be learned.
If we can learn to stop judging others, and in doing so, also stop judging ourselves, we will see our relationships with others and with ourselves, improve. There will always be lessons to learn, and there are most likely always going to be projections from us onto others, and projections from others onto us. Remember that this is okay, this is normal. We need to experience projections so that we can continue to grow. Our souls come to Earth to experience Earthly life, so that we may evolve. Don’t deprive yourself of the lessons you came here to learn.
Simply learn how to accept others, and where they are on their path. Don’t spend too much time wondering why they did something. Instead, take the time to look within and decipher what their actions mean to you. Learn how to love yourself and care for yourself. Believe in Divine Timing, and know that everything and everyone that is meant to come to you, will.
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©Morgan Reed, and Modern Mystic Musings, 2017. All rights reserved.